Narrative Medicine

Narrative Medicine Monday: Hammond B3 Organ Cistern

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Poet Gabrielle Calvocoressi conveys what it feels like to experience a reprieve from wanting to kill herself in The New Yorker‘s “Hammond B3 Organ Cistern.” She begins with the wonder: “The days I don’t want to kill myself / are extraordinary. Deep bass.” Calvocoressi is nearly at a loss for words: “There should be a word for it. / The days you wake up and do not want / to slit your throat.” Clearly, though, she finds them, unflinching in her descriptions of suicidal thoughts. She wants the world to celebrate with her on the days she does not experience this urge: “Come on, Everybody. / Say it with me nice and slow / no pills no cliff no brains onthe floor“

What Calvocoressi portrays is the visceral reality that erupts for a person who knows the severity of of suicidal urges and wakes to find “I did not / want to die that day.” Calvocoressi wonders, “Why don’t we talk about it? How good it feels.” In this extraordinary poem, Calvocoressi does.

Writing Prompt: Have you suffered from a serious illness that may feel different from one day to the next, such as severe depression? What does it feel like on the “good” days, the days your illness is improved or in remission? Can you relate to Calvocoressi’s exuberance for this state, the “deep bass,” the “leaping?” Write for 10 minutes.

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Narrative Medicine

Narrative Medicine Monday: Brain on Fire

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Susannah Cahalan’s gripping book Brain on Firerecounts her sudden descent into psychosis and her parents’ frantic search for the cause. (Fair warning that this post contains spoilers to this real-life medical mystery.) Cahalan, a successful young New York City journalist, notes small changes at first: mild numbness, forgetfulness, nagging insecurities.

After Cahalan suffers an overt seizure, she is further evaluated by a top neurologist. He is convinced, after her MRI, exam and blood work all come back normal, that her symptoms are due to alcohol withdrawal, despite no history of heavy alcohol or illicit drug use.

I was struck by the glaring assumptions made by her physician; the details of her narrative were lost on him and the opportunity for detecting her rare diagnosis was missed. Cahalan later in the book asserts the misdiagnosis was a “by-product of a defective system that forces neurologists to spend five minutes with X number of patients a day to maintain their bottom line. It’s a bad system. Dr. Bailey is not the exception to the rule. He is the rule.”

I couldn’t agree more with Cahalan. Our system as it currently stands requires physicians to see more patients in less time, respond to more emails, make more phone calls and review more lab results, often at the end of a nonstop 10 hour day. It’s no wonder details of a patient’s narrative are missed. There’s no space to think deeply about a case, delve into the specific details that may provide a vital clue.

As Cahalan’s mental fitness deteriorates and her paranoia heightens, her mother insists she be admitted to the hospital and her neurologist acquiesces, finding a bed with 24-hour EEG monitoring at New York University Langone Medical Center.

Cahalan doesn’t retain many memories of the month she was hospitalized but does piece them together for the reader, using video obtained while being monitored for seizure activity, hospital notes and the recollections of her family and friends. Through these she paints heartbreaking snapshots of a young vibrant woman’s loss of function and reality.

Cahalan eventually comes under the care of a physician who finds time to listen to her story, every detail from the beginning. His diligence connects her to the proper clinician and results in her correct diagnosis and treatment. Cahalan’s account made me think of Dr. Danielle Ofri’s book What Patients Say, What Doctors Hear. The details of her story were so imperative to discerning, even suspecting, the correct diagnosis. Hers is a cautionary tale that reiterates the need for system reform if we want our doctors to have the time to put their extensive training to use and get it right.

Writing Prompt: After Cahalan recovers, she notes that she has difficulty distinguishing “fact from fiction.” She muses on memories lost and formed and struggles with the fear that she could, at any time, relapse. The experience causes her to reframe the brain as vulnerable. Do you think of the brain as fragile? Why or why not? Do you agree with Cahalan that a primary defect in the medical system is one that forces providers to see so many patients to “maintain their bottom line”? Think of a time this affected you as a patient. If you’re a provider, think of a time a diagnosis was delayed or missed because of systemic pressures resulting in a missed piece of a patient’s narrative. Write for 10 minutes.

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Narrative Medicine

Narrative Medicine Monday: Out of the Straightjacket

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In recent years the importance of physician burnout, depression and the high suicide rate among physicians has become more visible. The New York Times article “Taking Care of the Physician” notes that physicians are “approximately twice the relative risk of suicide compared to people in other professions” and aren’t adequately trained to deal with many of the stressors that being a medical provider entail: “how to deal with conflict, how to deal with negotiation, how to deal with the distress of patients”. We learn the science of medicine but don’t receive enough instruction on the skills that can lead to resiliency in an emotionally grueling profession.

Dr. Michael Weinstein bravely shares his own story of severe depression, subsequent treatment and the struggle he experienced as a surgeon who desperately needed help regarding his mental illness. Weinstein’s essay “Out of the Straitjacket” in the New England Journal of Medicine reveals how he became “profoundly depressed, delirious, and hopeless. He’d lost faith in treatment and in reasons to live.” He describes the brutal hours and culture of residency training and how he went on to become a trauma surgeon, shouldering the emotional toll that intense work can take: “We often make decisions in the face of uncertainty that deeply affect our patients’ lives. When things went wrong, I frequently blamed myself.” Weinstein illustrates the failure in the medical culture to address the frequency of burnout and depression in our profession: “I didn’t know how to talk to my coresidents or faculty about medical mistakes and the accompanying self-flagellation.” He “felt trapped in [his] work and worried that [he] would expose [his] shortcomings if [he] sought a leave or disclosed [his] feelings.” How can we change the stigma associated with such a prevalent scourge on our profession, on so many who suffer from mental illness in this world?

Recent studies on physician wellness point to the fact that “it’s more effective to make changes at the level of the institution, rather than just telling the doctors to shape up in the wellness department.” So many physicians “enter medical school deeply committed to the field, they come with the desire to be empathic and compassionate, if we just create a system that nurtures what they come with then we will have less burnout and higher quality care.” How can we best change our institutions, our culture, to promote wellness in those who care for our health?

Writing Prompt: Do you or a colleague suffer from burnout or depression? How has your institution helped address this issue? How has it failed in addressing this issue? As a patient, what are your thoughts about Dr. McClafferty’s statement in the New York Times article: “If you’re my physician, I want you to be in good shape mentally, physically and emotionally, so you can be really successful at helping me”? If you’ve personally suffered from depression, what stigma did you experience? What was most helpful, from individuals or from your workplace, for recovery? Write for 10 minutes.

If you are suffering from depression or burnout, there is help:

For Physicians: AMA’s Steps Forward

For Patients and Physicians: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

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Narrative Medicine

Narrative Medicine Monday: Lithium and the Absence of Desire

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Virginia Chase Sutton’s wrenching poem “Lithium and the Absence of Desire” warns of what may be lost in taking a necessary medication. She deftly describes the world before starting lithium and the reader is entranced along with her, “dozing in light and soaked color.” Despite side effects causing a graying of her world, the author dutifully takes “the medication as prescribed.” Written in second person, the reader is drawn into her longing for what she has lost and together we collectively struggle in vain: “Strain all you will but you have given desire away.”

Writing Prompt: This poem describes a negative, even devastating, side effect of a medication, yet the writer recognizes there was “No choice since you must take the pills.” Have you experienced a minor or life-altering side effect from a medication? Describe life before and after starting the medication. Did you keep taking the medication as prescribed, or did you search for a different treatment? Write for 10 minutes.

 

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Narrative Medicine

Narrative Medicine Monday: Architecture of Mental Illness

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This fascinating National Public Radio story by Susan Stamberg reviews an exhibition at the National Building Museum exploring the links between architecture and mental health. It outlines the history of Washington, D.C.’s St. Elizabeths Hospital, first opened in 1855 and championed by Dorothea Dix, a pioneering advocate for more humane treatment of mental health patients.

The article states that Dix “‘believed that architecture and landscape architecture would really have a role in curing people.'” Do you agree? Have you witnessed physical surroundings play a significant role, either positively or negatively, for a patient or loved one with mental illness?

Some of the photos included in Stamberg’s story conjure up a dignified 19th century hotel. Dix was a proponent of having beautifully manicured grounds and St. Elizabeths was designed specifically to have “natural light and views of the outdoors” and “heat, tall arched windows and screened sleeping porches where patients could catch summer breezes.”

Writing Prompt: Use one of the photos from Stamberg’s story as a writing prompt for a free write. Imagine you are one of the patients (or nurses) in the St. Elizabeths Hospital of the 19th century. How does the space make you feel? Alternatively, if you’ve visited or worked in a contemporary inpatient mental health facility think about the design of the place. How could it be improved on? How do you think the features affect the inpatients? Write for 10 minutes. 

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Narrative Medicine

Narrative Medicine Monday: Jefferson’s Children

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We get a glimpse into both the patient and the physician’s perspective of a manic presentation in Maureen Hirthler’s “Jefferson’s Children“. Her dramatic opening (“If you don’t do something right now, I’m going to hurt my children.”) inserts the reader into the mindset of the patient, desperately asking for help to make sense of her racing and disturbing thoughts. As the emergency physician enters the scene, the narrative shifts and the reader becomes the provider, trying to make a definitive diagnosis and determine an appropriate treatment plan. 

The physician feels the patient should be admitted for psychiatric evaluation and treatment but is unable to find a bed for her and meets resistance from both the patient and her superior. Can you feel her frustration? Have you ever been in a similar situation?

The lack of appropriate, affordable and available psychiatric treatment has been discussed and debated much in recent years. What are the barriers you’ve noted to getting yourself, your loved ones or your patients the mental health care they need? If you could create the ideal mental health system, what would that look like?
Writing Prompt: Try writing from the first person perspective of a manic patient first arriving at the hospital or clinic. What about a severely depressed patient? A very anxious patient? Now write the same scene from the perspective of the medical provider (physician or therapist). How does the scene change?

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