Narrative Medicine

Narrative Medicine Monday: Caring for Ms. L

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Dr. Audrey Provenzano explores the difficulties in treating opioid use disorder in The New England Journal of Medicine‘s “Caring for Ms. L.” Provenzano has already developed rapport with Ms. L when one day the patient admits to her doctor that she had “taken a few of the oxycodone pills prescribed for her husband… [a]nd like a swimmer pulled into the undertow, she was dragged back into the cold, dark brine of addiction.” Ms. L is eager to try a treatment called buprenorphine but Provenzano doesn’t have the special license or training to prescribe the medication. Ms. L expresses disappointment at needing to establish care with a different provider. She trusts her doctor and doesn’t want to tell anyone else about her addiction.

Provenzano confesses that “the reason I didn’t have a waiver to prescribe buprenorphine was that I didn’t want one…. Every Friday I left the office utterly depleted, devoid of the energy or motivation it would take to spend a weekend clicking through the required online training.” She admits that more than anything, she avoids the training because she “did not want to deal with patients who needed it.” Provenzano had witnessed the toll addiction can take on a patient’s relationships and life and “[a]lready overwhelmed, I did not want to take on patients with needs that I did not know how to meet.”

Most primary care physicians can relate to Provenzano. There is already an alarming amount of burnout that exists among today’s physicians; the thought of adding another degree of complexity seems untenable to most, especially if it seems the therapeutic need is insurmountable.

Provenzano notes, though, that when Ms. L returns to her for diabetes treatment after seeing a colleague for the buprenorphine “a space had opened between us.” Ms. L doesn’t return for follow up and it is a year later that Provenzano learns that Ms. L died of an overdose. Provenzano experiences a “profound sadness” for Ms. L’s family, though “it was the shame that kept me awake.” She can’t help thinking that, given the strong patient-physician relationship they had previously developed, if Provenzano had treated Ms. L herself things might have turned out differently.

Provenzano goes on to get buprenorphine training and experiences both the therapeutic and complex social aspects of managing patients with opioid use disorder. She advocates for moving beyond just the training needed to prescribe medications for this chronic disease, but also urges us to “recognize, name, and talk about the social issues that must be addressed” and establish “team-based behavioral health and social work resources.”

Provenzano eventually finds treating patients with opioid use disorder “the most meaningful part of my practice.” She ultimately experiences great satisfaction in providing some normalcy to patients who are “roiled by overdose and estrangement.” Have you experienced the same?

Writing Prompt: As a patient, can you understand or appreciate Dr. Provenzano’s hesitation at first? If you’re a physician, have you experienced a similar hesitation? If you’ve suffered from addiction, what has been the most therapeutic intervention you’ve received? Think about an experience with addiction, either on a personal level or with a patient, that was particularly difficult. Then consider an interaction or moment that was a breakthrough. Write for 10 minutes.

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Narrative Medicine

Narrative Medicine Monday: Why Doctors Should Read Fiction

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Sam Kean’s article in The Atlantic, “Why Doctors Should Read Fiction,” highlights what many medical schools, residencies and medical groups are realizing: medical providers and patients alike benefit from physicians taking an interest in literature. Kean asks, “if studying medicine is good training for literature, could studying literature also be good training for medicine?”

Kean’s article outlines a study in Literature and Medicine, “Showing That Medical Ethics Cases Can Miss the Point.” The study found that “certain literary exercises…can expand doctors’ worldviews and make them more attuned to the dilemmas real patients face.”

Students rewrite and dissect short stories that expose an ethical case study, such as physician-writer Richard Seltzer’s “Fetishes.” The study’s author, Woods Nash, argues that “short stories are far more effective means of teaching students and health-care professionals to wrestle with the mess, to pay attention to narrative perspective and detail, and to become more comfortable with ambiguity.”

Writing Prompt: Have you read a piece of fiction that outlined a certain bioethical dilemma? Do you agree with Kean’s assertion that doctors should read fiction? How might the practice prove beneficial to a medical provider? Read Seltzer’s “Fetishes” and rewrite the story in short form, as a poem or case study. What new insight do you gain from this exercise? Write for 10 minutes.

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Narrative Medicine

Narrative Medicine Monday: Lessons in Medicine, Mortality, and Reflexive Verbs

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I “met” Dr. Robin Schoenthaler through an online group of physician writers. Schoenthaler has been universally encouraging to our growing community of novice and accomplished writers and offers practical and helpful advice. Her kind of wisdom and support is so needed in both the literary and medical worlds.

This article by Schoenthaler, published in the New England Journal of Medicine, describes her use of Spanish during her medical training in Southern California. Schoenthaler learned much of the language from her patients, notably a “young woman named Julia Gonzalez” who, admitted with acute myeloid leukemia, taught the young Schoenthaler “considerably more than Spanish nouns and verbs.” After several rounds of chemotherapy, Julia improves and is discharged. This, along with Schoenthaler’s progress in Spanish, bolsters the young doctor.

Schoenthaler recalls that in medical school she fell in love with, “of all things, reflexive verbs. I loved the concept of a verb that made the self the objects.” Schoenthaler found that reflexive verbs gave her what seemed to be a “kinder, gentler way of speaking to patients in those early, awkward days of training. It felt so much more graceful to say to a stranger, ‘You can redress yourself’ rather than ‘Put your clothes back on.'” I too remember the awkwardness, in words and in deeds, of being a new physician. So much is foreign; the medical jargon and culture, the intimacy of illness and body each patient entrusts us with.

Schoenthaler finds that trying to discuss a topic as challenging as cancer tests her Spanish language skills. Near the end of medical school she attends a language immersion school in Mexico and her Spanish improves dramatically. When she returns, her patient Julia is readmitted with a grave prognosis. Distraught, she calls her mentor and he advises: “‘Now, you concentrate solely on her comfort.'” The new doctor translates his words into Spanish, “with its reflexive verb: ‘Ahora nos concentramos en su comodidad’ (Now we concentrate ourselves on her comfort). We, ourselves, all of us.”

Schoenthaler makes it their mission, instead of a cure, to provide comfort for Julia in her last days: “I held her hand and rubbed her wrists and used my reflexive verbs. We were both speaking a foreign language.” After Julia dies, Schoenthaler calls Julia’s mother, using the Spanish words she’s learned to convey the worst of all news: “‘Se murio’ — ‘She herself has died.'” The mother’s response needs no translation.

Writing Prompt: When you were first starting to care for patients, what words or phrases seemed most awkward? As a patient, have you had medical providers use phrasing that seemed detached or confusing? If you speak multiple languages, think about the different ways sentences are formed. What gets lost or jumbled in translation? Alternatively, think about a time you had to tell a patient’s loved one they died. What words did you use? Write for 10 minutes.

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Narrative Medicine

Narrative Medicine Monday: Curiosity and What Equality Really Means

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Atul Gawande’s recent commencement speech at U.C.L.A. Medical School, published in The New Yorker, begins with a story. He describes an Emergency Room encounter with a prisoner who had slit his own wrist and swallowed a razor blade. Gawande found himself caring for this person who had alienated himself from many others, who experienced many preconceived expectations, given his status, as well.

Gawande warns the graduates that “wherever you go from here, and whatever you do, you will be tested. And the test will be about your ability to hold onto your principles. The foundational principle of medicine, going back centuries, is that all lives are of equal worth.”

He asserts that there is a gap in the care that people receive, whether that disconnect be due to “lack of money, lack of connections, background, darker skin pigment, or additional X chromosome.” Have you noticed this in your own medical practice, in your own life? How did this injustice make you feel?

Do you agree with Gawande that, as medical professionals, we have a “broad vantage” of this issue? Do you also agree that “[w]e all occupy our own bubbles?” How have you seen this manifested in individuals and society as a whole?

Gawande argues that we should regard all people as having “a common core of humanity.” In order to put ourselves in others’ shoes, we need to have a certain curiosity, as Gawande does about his prisoner patient. Despite the way the patient threatens his chief resident, Gawande engages with the patient. He learns that “[i]n medicine, you see people who are troublesome in every way: the complainer, the person with the unfriendly tone, the unwitting bigot, the guy who, as they say, makes ‘poor life choices.’ People can be untrustworthy, even scary… But you will also see lots of people whom you might have written off prove generous, caring, resourceful, brilliant. You don’t have to like or trust everyone to believe their lives are worth preserving.”

In my ten years in practice, I have certainly found this to be true. I agree that, above all, remaining curious about others is the key to understanding, the “beginning of empathy.” As medical professionals, we are “given trust to see human beings at their most vulnerable and serve them.” That trust is sacred, should never be forgotten and should inform our every attempt to serve “all as equals” and cultivate “openness to people’s humanity.”

Writing Prompt: We all train, and many of us work, in hospitals. Gawande notes that hospitals “are one of the very few places left where you encounter the whole span of society.” Think of two encounters you’ve had in a hospital with people of backgrounds from different ends of a spectrum. Write about your interactions with each of them. Alternatively, think about what gives you status, or lack thereof, in society. How have you been treated by medical professionals? Do you think your experience would be different if you were a C.E.O. or a cabbie? Why or why not? Write for 10 minutes.

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Narrative Medicine

Narrative Medicine Monday: Mom at Bedside, Appears Calm

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I recently attended Harvard’s Writing, Publishing and Social Media for Healthcare Professionals conference and wrote about how networking and finding “my tribe” was a meaningful part of the conference. Case in point: a friend I met there recalled my interest in narrative medicine when she went to a talk by Dr. Suzanne Koven, the Writer in Residence at Massachusetts General Hospital. Dr. Koven is an internist and writer and has spearheaded the innovative Literature & Medicine program at MGH. My friend initiated a virtual introduction and Dr. Koven kindly agreed to speak with me about her successful program at MGH.

I’m inspired by her work in bringing narrative medicine to front-line medical providers. Today I’m featuring a New England Journal of Medicine piece she wrote from a very personal experience titled “Mom at Bedside, Appears Calm.”

Koven opens the essay with the things she carries “everywhere we go… two plastic syringes, each preloaded with 5 mg of liquid Valium….” She describes how they treat her son at “the first sign of blinking or twitching,” and that “[w]hen he relaxes, so do we.”

Koven is a physician, with all of the benefits and pitfalls that entails, navigating the tumultuous waters of a loved one suffering an illness that is particularly unpredictable and unnerving, especially when it affects a child. Her son continues to seize, still without an identifiable cause, taking “40 pills a day, crushed, on spoons of Breyers cookies-and-cream ice cream. Still he blinks and shakes, shakes and drops.”

With subsequent admissions to the hospital, Koven finds that she grows “more at ease” with the other parents of ill children and that she “clings to the nurses, Jen and Sarah and Kristen and ‘the other Jen,’ as we call her.” She glances at her son’s chart one night and it reads: “Mom at bedside. Appears calm.”

Though her son is eventually diagnosed and treated effectively, grows into adulthood and no longer suffers seizures, this period of unpredictable anxiety still haunts her: “occasionally my terror will snap to life again…. A siren sounds…. I still stop to see which way the ambulance is heading.”

Writing Prompt: Nowadays much of the medical record, including a physician’s progress note, is available right away to the patient via an online portal. Have you read a phrase or comment in your medical record that gave you pause, caused reflection? Did the comment align with how you felt in that moment, how you were perceived by the physician or nurse? If you’re a doctor, how would you answer the question Koven received: “Is it easier or hard to have a sick child when [you’re a] doctor?” Write for 10 minutes.

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Narrative Medicine, Writing

My Kind of People

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I’m currently in Boston at Harvard’s Writing, Publishing, and Social Media for Healthcare Professionals conference. I’ve learned so much from the speakers, agents and editors here but one of the biggest benefits has been the networking opportunities. I’m part of an online group for physician writer mothers (totally my people, I know!) and though I’ve interacted with many of them virtually, it’s been a true pleasure to get to know them in person. What an amazing group of creative women doing incredible work in medicine and writing.

As with so many conferences I’ve attended, I’m inspired to write more, submit more, fine tune my book proposal and my pitch. Most of all, I’m encouraged to finish my books-in-progress. Writing and publishing a book is a marathon endeavor. I am not a creature of patience or a natural extrovert, but this process is teaching me endurance, humility and boldness. If you’re in healthcare and a writer I highly recommend this annual conference for tips, tools and inspiration.

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Narrative Medicine

Narrative Medicine Monday: In Shock

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Although I’ve never met her, author and critical care physician Rana Awdish on some level feels familiar. Not only are we both part of a supportive online group of physician-writers, but I just finished reading her wrenching memoir, “In Shock: My Journey from Death to Recovery and the Redemptive Power of Hope.” Awdish’s gripping account of her near-death experience, subsequent hospitalization in her own ICU and revelations about the shortcomings in both support for and education of medical providers in the realm of empathy are illuminating. Her book is infused with challenge and hope and a call to transform the way we train physicians and care for patients.

Awdish is thrust from the world of providing medicine into that of receiving it – a patient under her own colleagues’ care. The contrast of these positions of power and vulnerability are striking and Awdish describes the jarring experience and her own enlightenment as she pivots between these two roles. She shares with the reader her revelations regarding how we provide medical care to those in crisis and inspires us to find a better way.

I was particularly convicted by Awdish’s insight into how medical training encourages physicians to suppress many of our emotions. She traces this ideal back to the father of modern medicine, Sir William Osler, who encouraged “‘aequanimitas.’ Osler regarded this trait as the premier quality of a physician. It represented an imperturbability that was described as manifesting in ‘coolness and presence of mind under all circumstances, calmness amid storm, clearness of judgment in moments of grave peril.'”

Awdish asserts that as physicians “we aren’t trained to see our patients. We are trained to see pathology. We are taught to forage with scalpels and forceps for an elusive diagnosis buried within obfuscating tissues. We excavate alongside our mentors in delicate, deliberate layers, test by test, attempting to unearth disease. The true relationship is forged between the doctor and the disease.” Do you agree with Awdish’s assessment? Why or why not?

If you’re a physician, if you’re a patient: read this book. Discuss it with your colleagues, mull over it with your book club. The questions Awdish raises, the challenges she poses are vital to improving the way we care for each other in our most acute times of need.

Writing Prompt: If you’re a physician, did you learn to develop “aequanimitas” through your training? Did you feel this trait was a requirement, overtly stated or otherwise, to be a “good physician?” Have you yourself ever been a patient feeling, like Awdish, “powerless in a way that is impossible to imagine, from a privileged position of wholeness and well-being?” Awdish lists biting phrases that were directly said to her or that she overheard when she was a patient. Have you experienced similarly painful words from a medical provider? Have you said such words to a patient before? Try writing from both the patient and the medical provider’s perspectives. Write for 10 minutes.

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Narrative Medicine

Narrative Medicine Monday: Baptism by Fire

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Pediatric Intensivist Gwen Erkonen’s fast-paced essay “Baptism by Fire” was recently highlighted in one of my favorite online creative nonfiction journals, Hippocampus Magazine. The piece begins with Erkonen sitting in Grand Rounds, a newly minted attending physician. Erkonen deftly describes the apprehension and weight of responsibility all physicians experience when, after a decade of training, they are finally in charge: “Four years of medical school, three years of pediatric residency, and three more years as a pediatric critical care fellow. My time as a medical apprentice is done. I no longer have an attending physician to help me with my decision-making. I am solely responsible for my patients.”

Erkonen’s pager calls her to an excruciating emergency: a toddler with extensive life-threatening burns. The reader is thrust into the dire situation with her as she assumes care of the critical patient, running the resuscitation efforts of the medical team and communicating with the young girl’s mother in the waiting room.

Erkonen not only relays her own inner turmoil during this first challenge of her new career, she also conveys her keen observations of the other participants. The surgery resident she first meets in the trauma bay “looks cool and in control with his hands folded across his chest and a broad-based stance, but I can tell from his shaking voice he’s not sure what to do.” Erkonen’s details describing the patient’s devastated young mother gives us insight that the family’s narrative is multi-layered and tragic even before this catastrophic event: “She starts to sob, and buries her head in the older lady’s chest. Then I notice that she has a disposable Bic lighter in her hand. She keeps flicking it so that flames jump from the spark wheel…. I notice that her hands are dirty. Not from the fire but because she hasn’t showered in several days.”

Most any physician can empathize with Erkonen’s inner dialogue. Years of training doesn’t negate the adrenaline-infused uncertainty when you first encounter the incredible weight of trying to save another’s life: “Feeling like an idiot, I nonetheless plow forward.” Erkonen is unflinchingly honest in her description of the events and her vivid details leave the reader breathless, exhausted and empathetic, as if we were watching them unfold on a medical drama, yet responsible along with her.

Writing Prompt: Think of a time when you were in a new position that held intense responsibility. Maybe it was your first week as an attending physician or a new job managing a large part of your workplace. Maybe it was your first hours as a new parent. Describe your own inner dialogue and your perception of others you interacted with during that time. Alternatively, try re-writing Erkonen’s essay from the point of view of the surgical resident, the burn nurse, the patient’s mother, the priest, the trauma surgeon. Write for 10 minutes.

 

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Narrative Medicine

Narrative Medicine Monday: The Dilemma Doctors Face

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The spotlight has recently been on the opioid epidemic ravaging our country. As a primary care physician, I’m acutely aware of this issue and the challenges it poses to individuals, medical providers and the public health system as a whole. NPR’s The Takeaway recently did a program on understanding this crisis and approached it from many angles. Dr. Danielle Ofri wrote short a piece in Glamour magazine that gives a primary care physician’s perspective. In “The Dilemma Doctors Face,” Ofri notes that chronic pain is very real but differs from other chronic disease in that there is no definitive test or measurement for pain, it is subjective. “Chronic pain is real. It can ruin people’s lives. But the anvil of addiction and death can’t be ignored.” Ofri asserts that one challenge is that a system that doesn’t often pay for other ways of treating pain, such as physical therapy, acupuncture and massage, makes it easier for the medical provider to “just write a prescription.” Can you relate?

Writing Prompt: Have you or a loved one struggled with chronic pain? What were the challenges you faced when trying to find appropriate treatment? Have you or a loved one struggled with opioid addiction? What was the first sign that this had become an issue? If you prescribe opioid pain medications, how do you approach counseling patients about the risks and benefits of taking these medications? What are some of the challenges you’ve faced in having this discussion? Write for 10 minutes.

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Narrative Medicine

Narrative Medicine Monday: Locked-in Syndrome

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Pakistani bioethicist Anika Khan reviews Jean-Dominique Bauby’s remarkable story in her essay “Locked-in syndrome: inside the cocoon.” In it, she describes how Bauby, an editor of a prominent magazine who suffered a debilitating stroke, lived out his days entirely paralyzed but with mental clarity completely intact. Bauby’s only method of communication, and how he eventually wrote his 1997 book The Diving Bell and the Butterfly was by blinking with his left eyelid. He used a French alphabet provided by his speech therapist to painstakingly blink his way to communication with the outer world.

Khan relays some of Bauby’s remarkable insights into living in such a state and she also reflects on how medical providers need to take a “more empathetic look at the incapacity and helplessness experienced not only by patients with locked-in syndrome, but by analogy, other patients who have no way of giving voice to their experience of sickness. Often, patients become diseases, numbers and syndromes to healthcare professionals who have repeatedly seen illness and have lost the capacity to relate to the experiences of patients.”

Writing Prompt: Have you as a patient ever felt misunderstood by your medical provider? What were you trying to relay and what was the response that revealed to you the miscommunication? Think about your visceral reaction to this encounter. As providers, what specifically have you done to combat the risk of patients becoming “diseases, numbers and syndromes?” How do you maintain this empathy while still preserving some emotional boundaries? Write for 10 minutes.

 

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