Narrative Medicine

Narrative Medicine Monday: My One, My Only

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In the latest issue of Brevity, writer Michaella Thornton explains how she answers strangers about “My One, My Only.” At the grocery store with her toddler daughter, someone will invariably ask, “Is she your only child?” Thornton understands there are things that “give us away,” like “the way I narrate our grocery trip.”

When “someone asks the ‘only child’ question” at checkout, Thornton recalls the years of infertility treatments she endured: “Instead of conceiving a baby by a glacier-fed lake, we pray at the altar of reproductive medicine and lost causes.” Thornton wonders at it all, noting that the “human egg is a redwood among the rest of our sapling-sized cells. Think of the size of a period at the end of this sentence—that is the size of a human egg.”

She relays the grueling aspects of her experience with infertility treatments, the “pin-pricked stomach,” the “loneliness together” she endures with her husband. In the end, though, “as the doctors put my organs back into my body, as I throw up into a kidney-shaped pan” she is “crying over and over again to my newborn daughter, ‘I love you. I love you so much.'”

In this flash essay Thornton uses a moment with a stranger, an intrusive question many feel compelled to ask, to convey her experience with infertility, with IVF treatments, with the miracle that is her one and only child. She notes the “inadequacy of the question” strangers pose, and, in this short piece, takes us with her through “sublime sadness and joy.”

Writing Prompt: Have you had a stranger comment on the number of children you do, or don’t, have? How did you feel, what thoughts did it trigger when you received this question? Have you or someone you know struggled with infertility or are you a physician who treats this? What is it like for a patient to go through this treatment? Write for 10 minutes.

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Writing

Mark

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I wrote the braided essay “Mark” a few years ago but never found the right home for it. On a bit of a whim, I submitted the flash piece to the 2019 EPIC Writing Contest and am so pleased it won Honorable Mention. Tonight, at a reception for the contest winners, I read the piece. A stranger came up to me right after, tears in his eyes, and expressed to me how much it meant to him, both because of his own history and that of his children. I won’t go into details, but was touched by his clear connection to the essay and told him I was grateful for sharing some of his own story with me.

As I walked back to my car, I realized: this is why I write, why I share. As a nonfiction writer, as a memoirist, as someone who writes about the raw issues of my life and of those in my life and work, I’ve struggled mightily this year with how much is appropriate to divulge, what stories should be shared with the larger world and which are written just for myself or my writing group or my children. What I’ve learned in recent years, though, is that the more we disclose, the more authentic we are with our stories, the closer we become to others. When I share my own struggles, my own failings, my own fears and hidden joys, people are compelled to open up regarding their own. Just like the stranger at this reading – there is comfort in camaraderie, in the recognition that we all struggle, we all have great challenges in life. Being completely authentic with others is therapeutic and connecting in a way I never imagined possible.

Though in this age of social media and superficiality and anonymous critiques, opening up about your vulnerabilities can be biting at best, crushing at worst. Knowing that creative nonfiction, poetry and memoir are in my writer’s blood, I’ll have to continue to wade through the murky waters of authenticity and exposure. A wholly unexpected interaction like I had tonight, though, makes me want to write more, share more, and connect more with others. That is, after all, what creating art and being part of humanity are all about.

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Narrative Medicine

Narrative Medicine Monday: Solving for X

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Author Pam Durban tries “Solving for X” in her nonfiction piece in Brevity. Durban tells us that she’s “never been good at word problems,” the kind that involve trains and “variables of time, speed, and distance.” At seventy years old, she is now able to “manage the simpler calculations” such as knowing that she “doesn’t need a dental implant that lasts fifty years.” At her current age, though, she finds some of these “word problems of life” are riskier and “always end with an unsolvable X–the date of her death.”

Durban muses on how to manage these unsolvable Xs. She experiences a bout of amnesia in an E.R. and recalls an uneasiness with the concept of eternity, finds her “multiplying Xs” just as unnerving. Durban masterfully gives us a glimpse into the mind of a woman in the last part of her life, but highlights that even nearing the end, the question of time can be perplexing, unsettling and stretch out into the future.

Writing Prompt: Have you calculated, like Durban, your need for a thirty-year roof or if you’ll be around for the next solar eclipse? Can you relate to Durban’s unease with “multiplying Xs?” Why do you think she “sees a way” in the memory of returning to her father’s grave? If you are a medical provider who cares for elderly patients, what can you take from Durban’s essay that might be helpful in how you approach patients who are making decisions about medical care and treatment plans? Write for 10 minutes.

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Narrative Medicine

Narrative Medicine Monday: The Train

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I featured one of Dr. Thomas Gibbs’ other essays on my very first Narrative Medicine Monday post in 2016. Today’s piece, found in the excellent flash essay journal Brevity, highlights another experience altogether. Dr. Gibbs is an obstetrician and therefore encounters dramatic medical emergencies that can put two lives at risk simultaneously. This was the case in “The Train,” when Gibbs is paged in the early morning hours about a bleeding pregnant patient who works in his office. Gibbs tells her husband to drive the patient himself to the hospital as he knows the urgency of the situation and that the local EMTs would take longer to get her there. He treats the patient as she arrives and disaster is averted. When he goes to inform the patient’s husband in the waiting room, he finds the husband shaken. In just getting to the hospital, all of them were in danger.

This piece made me think of all the advice we give patients, all the instructions we get from well-meaning physicians. Sometimes this advice has unintended consequences, either because patients misinterpret what was said or the instructions weren’t communicated effectively or because of events entirely out of anyone’s control. When you read the final lines of this essay, what were your first thoughts about the situation?

Writing Prompt: Have you given or gotten advice from a physician that, when followed, caused unforeseen consequences? Consider what happened or imagine what could have happened. As a physician, how did this change your medical practice or, as a patient, your relationship with that physician? Write for 10 minutes.

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Narrative Medicine, Writing

Narrative Medicine Monday: Published!

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Starting the year off sharing some great news! I recently received in the mail the Fall 2016 Edition of OUHSC’s Blood and Thunder Journal, which includes two of my essays. I’ve had several pieces published in online journals but there is a special kind of excitement that comes from seeing your name in print on a tangible page. I’m humbled that two of my favorite shorts “Expectant” and “Burst” found a home in this narrative medicine collection.

“Expectant” chronicles the very first delivery I witnessed. Obstetrics was a revelation to me as a young medical student, especially never having had children myself. I was in awe of the entire process and this short essay reveals my own insecurities as I was christened into the world of medicine.

“Burst” is about my first continuity delivery in residency training: a pregnancy meant to be followed throughout all nine months to completion. I was a new physician and had much to learn about the unpredictable nature of obstetrics.

One of my writing goals for 2017 is to make significant progress on a book-length collection of narrative medicine essays.  I’m starting the year off taking Creative Nonfiction’s online course “Writing Your Nonfiction Book Proposal”. Finding time to edit and submit my work has been a continual challenge but writing classes provide encouragement and structure to make the time, harness the energy and muster the gumption to keep at it. I’m eager to let go of the draining and perfectionist tendencies of 2016 and write on in 2017. Holding a palpable culmination of my writing efforts is an encouraging way to embark on a new year and I’m grateful.

 

 

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