Free Write Friday: Breakfast

Growing up, sugary cereals were only allowed for special occasions in my family. If we were on vacation my parents would succumb to the pleas of their three children and buy an eight pack brick of miniature cereal boxes: Sugar Pops, Apple Jacks, Frosted Flakes. We’d line them up on the dining room table, barter and trade and bicker as siblings do. My favorite was Honey Smacks, neon cartoon frog jubilant on the front, ready to leap. I liked the caramel flavor, the bean-like shape of the kernels in my small mouth.

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My mom would always wake with us, sit at the breakfast table no matter how early, clad in her cotton nightgown and cushioned slippers. The lone overhead light shone like a spotlight in our eat-in kitchen. I remember her stirring a pot of Cream of Wheat on the stove, my much older brother off at college, my younger brother still slumbering in his bed. I don’t remember talking much; we were both slow to articulate upon waking. The warmth of her presence, the hot cereal sweetened with a dollop of brown sugar, was the best kind of start to brave a new day.

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In residency we’d all gather for morning sign-out to discuss the overnight events on each patient under our care. Those of us on call would grab breakfast as soon as the hospital cafeteria opened; if one was tending to a patient, writing an order, responding to a page, the other would collect their food for them. We all knew the preferences of each other, constant companions for 36 hour shifts, 3 years of working 80 hour weeks together. You get to know how a person takes their coffee, how they like their oatmeal. There were cheesy eggs, regular eggs, strips of bacon, big vats in steel containers heated under red lamps. I liked getting a plate of scrambled eggs with a scoop of white rice, a couple of soy sauce packets tucked in my scrub shirt pocket. I’d mix them all together as I joined my colleagues for pre-dawn sign-out, a makeshift comfort food after an exhaustive night of work.

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Free Write Friday: Mail


My mom used to send me magazine clippings in the mail. She’d come across an article about medicine or my old high school or our family summer vacation locale and she’d clip it and staple it and send it off in a nondescript white envelope. I’d receive the envelope, neat looped handwriting instantly recognizable, and I’d open it right away. The newspaper clipping or torn magazine sheets usually went into a pile meant to be read later. 

But I was in college, trying to keep up with a rigorous load of textbooks and essays and journal articles. Or I was in medical school, busy with anatomy lab and pathology and pharmacology, drowning in index cards and color coded diagrams meant to aid memorization of muscle insertion and organ innervation. Or I was in residency, distracted with an eighty hour work week and a new husband and new home and new reality of responsibility for very sick patients. Or I was traveling, studying abroad or working internationally, sorting through the complexities of the injustices and richness and suffering and beauty I encountered in the greater world and trying to determine my place in it all. So into a pile they went.

Sometimes I’d come across one much later, still folded neatly, pale yellow post-it with mom’s personal commentary attached: “Thought you’d be interested in this! Love, Mom” Sometimes I’d read it or toss it, but usually it went back in the pile. I felt guilty throwing them away; the effort she put in. 

After I got married my husband started receiving the articles too: about bamboo, education, triathlons. He came to recognize the plain white envelopes, the practical script. He started a pile of his own.

I don’t get clippings anymore in my mailbox. She still sends articles, but they’re attached to an email, they’re posted on Facebook. I usually put them in my mental pile of “to read”, same guilt setting in. I realize, though, I miss the paper piles, the tangible envelope pulled from a mailbox. I miss it in the sentimental way old people miss a diner or their favorite hand lotion or Reader’s Digest. The tangible sleekness of magazine pages, the coarse newspaper marking my fingers. My mom’s distinct cursive signaling the envelope, the article, indicating she thought of me, she thinks of me, and wanted me to know.

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